I've been described as impulsive. I am quick to act. Quick to think. Quick to speak. I speak my mind. I mean what I say and I say what I mean. None of these traits define me.
I'm creative. I'm methodical. I'm organized. I thrive in chaos. I don't like the mundane. I like adventures. I like challenges. None of these traits define me.
I went to college and majored in Cinema and Photography. I was accepted into one of the top five ranked programs in the nation. I learned Film Production from the beginning of story-boarding an idea, to scripting. I can not only shoot, but edit 8mm, 16mm, 35mm, and digital film. I can write a script, I can frame shots, I can light a scene, and edit sound in post production. I can hand process photo film and print photos in a dark room. I can shoot on various brands of digital cameras and I can edit digitally. These skills do not define me. In fact I can count the number of times I've used any of these skills in my professional career on less than two hands.
While those traits and skills do not define me, they are in fact a part of who I am. Who I've always been. And hopefully who I will always be. Somewhere along the line of my journey into being the active and healthy person I am now who challenges herself, I got bored professionally. Everyone hits a rut, everyone contemplates change. People look, some people change, move on, or stay out of fear of the unknown.
With all of the other changes that were going on with me, I attributed my boredom at work to the changes going on outside of work with me. I was content at work, but I wouldn't define my contentment as unhappiness. I enjoyed the daily challenges of the unknown chaos that I knew would ensue, but at the end of each day I left feeling I hadn't accomplished anything. The position I am in at work is one I will forevermore be grateful for. I have essentially had free rein to develop my position from just a pipe dream to a fully functional, fast paced reality. Having accomplished that, as I said, I will forevermore be grateful and have received a boosted professional confidence.
As I accomplished things like losing weight, graduating from a weight loss class to a fitness class. Picking up speed as I ran and cycled. All of those accomplishments along the way helped me realize that while I thrived on the daily work chaos, I lacked feeling accomplishment, and dare I say it genuine happiness. I went through the motions, but as time progressed I realized it was just that: Going Through the Motions.
I had renewed confidence both inside and out, and knew the only way change would happen is if I made it happen. I began an overwhelming quest for creative professional happiness. In the event that I found a creative outlet it would in fact be the first time in my professional career where I had done anything remotely close to resembling something out of not only my comfort zone, but also perhaps skill set. Not to mention in my background of study.
Change seems like a good idea until it's staring you in the face and you have to decide. Stay with what you know out of fear? Or go with your gut and heart? Either way I knew I'd be upsetting someone and in the first scenario I'd be upsetting myself. In the later I'd be upsetting those who count on me.
I wanted to be challenged. I wanted to use my traits and skills to define me and have a career, not just a job. All of the forces joined and the goal I set for myself I decided to at least attempt to accomplish. With one letter of resignation, many tears, and still mixed emotions I am closing the chapter I know so well. The chapter I find difficult to see flaws in since I implemented the position. The people who are familiar. The commute where I know every bump in the road.
This chapter that is closing can almost be compared as parallel as my weight loss and journey into athlete. Without the freedom and success of my now dwindling down in days work position, I may not have had the courage to set goals. To challenge myself. To try to find happiness.
It took talking to family and friends. People who know me. People who have seen me change. People who actually were telling me what I already knew. They, as well as I know, change is scary, but it seems far less scary when you look back and realize there was nothing to be afraid of in the first place.
And it may seem minimal but a post-it with my name, a gold foil star, and a signed initial ... told my head what my heart already knew to do.
I'm creative. I'm methodical. I'm organized. I thrive in chaos. I don't like the mundane. I like adventures. I like challenges. None of these traits define me.
I went to college and majored in Cinema and Photography. I was accepted into one of the top five ranked programs in the nation. I learned Film Production from the beginning of story-boarding an idea, to scripting. I can not only shoot, but edit 8mm, 16mm, 35mm, and digital film. I can write a script, I can frame shots, I can light a scene, and edit sound in post production. I can hand process photo film and print photos in a dark room. I can shoot on various brands of digital cameras and I can edit digitally. These skills do not define me. In fact I can count the number of times I've used any of these skills in my professional career on less than two hands.
While those traits and skills do not define me, they are in fact a part of who I am. Who I've always been. And hopefully who I will always be. Somewhere along the line of my journey into being the active and healthy person I am now who challenges herself, I got bored professionally. Everyone hits a rut, everyone contemplates change. People look, some people change, move on, or stay out of fear of the unknown.
With all of the other changes that were going on with me, I attributed my boredom at work to the changes going on outside of work with me. I was content at work, but I wouldn't define my contentment as unhappiness. I enjoyed the daily challenges of the unknown chaos that I knew would ensue, but at the end of each day I left feeling I hadn't accomplished anything. The position I am in at work is one I will forevermore be grateful for. I have essentially had free rein to develop my position from just a pipe dream to a fully functional, fast paced reality. Having accomplished that, as I said, I will forevermore be grateful and have received a boosted professional confidence.
As I accomplished things like losing weight, graduating from a weight loss class to a fitness class. Picking up speed as I ran and cycled. All of those accomplishments along the way helped me realize that while I thrived on the daily work chaos, I lacked feeling accomplishment, and dare I say it genuine happiness. I went through the motions, but as time progressed I realized it was just that: Going Through the Motions.
I had renewed confidence both inside and out, and knew the only way change would happen is if I made it happen. I began an overwhelming quest for creative professional happiness. In the event that I found a creative outlet it would in fact be the first time in my professional career where I had done anything remotely close to resembling something out of not only my comfort zone, but also perhaps skill set. Not to mention in my background of study.
Change seems like a good idea until it's staring you in the face and you have to decide. Stay with what you know out of fear? Or go with your gut and heart? Either way I knew I'd be upsetting someone and in the first scenario I'd be upsetting myself. In the later I'd be upsetting those who count on me.
I wanted to be challenged. I wanted to use my traits and skills to define me and have a career, not just a job. All of the forces joined and the goal I set for myself I decided to at least attempt to accomplish. With one letter of resignation, many tears, and still mixed emotions I am closing the chapter I know so well. The chapter I find difficult to see flaws in since I implemented the position. The people who are familiar. The commute where I know every bump in the road.
This chapter that is closing can almost be compared as parallel as my weight loss and journey into athlete. Without the freedom and success of my now dwindling down in days work position, I may not have had the courage to set goals. To challenge myself. To try to find happiness.
It took talking to family and friends. People who know me. People who have seen me change. People who actually were telling me what I already knew. They, as well as I know, change is scary, but it seems far less scary when you look back and realize there was nothing to be afraid of in the first place.
And it may seem minimal but a post-it with my name, a gold foil star, and a signed initial ... told my head what my heart already knew to do.
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