Family isn't necessarily defined by blood. It's defined by choice, by your heart and feelings. Growing up I was not fortunate enough to have cousins nearby, in fact my cousins all lived more than a dozen hours away. We'd visit in the summer on vacation for a week or so, but that part of my family with Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins were in a different state, in a different region. I was fortunate to grow up with an extended family that filled the void.
As the fates would have it, my mom's best friend and one of my dad's best friends married. They are in fact my godparents. In addition another one of my dad's best friend, his wife, daughter and eventual son were close to us as a family. We'd gather at one of the houses, we'd eat, and us kids would play together. We even occasionally cleaned up nicely for photos. And thankfully this time I refer to was during the 1980's, so decades later the photos not only hold memories but hilarity.
Now you might be wondering who these fine looking folks of extended family in the 1980's are. Well in the back row you have my Godfather, Uncle Paul. Next to him is my Godmother, Aunt Melanie. Next to her is Bonnie, Diana, and Dave Holloway (David wasn't born yet). And in the front you have us Thornton's, that's my dad holding my sister, my mom, and then finally me. You might want to note a few things. First of all my dad still had a lot of hair. And speaking of a lot of hair, my mom, wow. You'll also note my sister didn't have a lot of interest in looking for the photo, but she too had a lot of hair. And then there's me, if you've seen any of my previous photos of me recently, you'll notice I still smile like that. I mastered that look in my early days ... clearly.
I went away to college, six hours away and then stayed in that area after graduation, eventually moving to North Carolina, and returning to the area in 2009. I was out of the area except for visits for holidays or long weekends for ten years more or less. In that time Diana, my sister, and I grew up and our parents all changed hair styles. It was also in that time that Diana's mom, Bonnie was diagnosed with Colon Cancer.
I remember the day and what I was I doing when I got the phone call. I was on my way home from Raleigh to Durham, North Carolina having run to the bank on my lunch break. I was in the turn lane to turn onto I85. My mom called to let me know that Bonnie had passed away and lost her battle to Colon Cancer. I wasn't able to make it from North Carolina to Illinois to support my extended family.
After my first half marathon in May, my mom took me out for a celebration lunch. I wore my race bib and medal all day, so it goes without saying that a few times during that day people talked to me about running. The first really was a bartender where we were having lunch and she told me about a race her boyfriend once took part in, the Get Your Rear In Gear 5k. I had just run 13.1 miles, so running 3.1 was a piece of cake in my mind at that time, and also on my mind was cake. I digress. I was on a post-race high so I looked up the Get Your Rear In Gear 5k and it was in July. I sent Diana a message letting her know that I'd be willing to do the race with her and I suspected we could get more of our extended family involved.
And so we did the race. Myself and one other person were registered runners and everyone else walkers. I'll admit I've taken part in large nationally sponsored races in the past year, as well as small local charity ones. I didn't find the Get Your Rear In Gear 5k to be the most organized event. The runners started at 8am (or there abouts), ran, and then the walkers started at 9am (or there abouts). There were a few problems with this. Runners who then wanted to walk with their family or friends missed the runners award ceremony and in turn any family or friends that cheered on runners missed the awards ceremony because they were out walking. As well, we runners were timed, and the walkers walked to a set up table that said "Finish". There was no fanfare, no following, nothing for the walkers. I stood by the finish line (table) for the rest of my team cheering them on, but it just wasn't the same as me finishing my run.
While I want to focus on people gathering to help with Colon Cancer research and not focus on the flaws of the race, it's hard. It's hard for me because the rest of my team did the same distance as me, had the same goals, and same purposes. And the rest of my team (had they finished any later) wouldn't have gotten post-race water or snacks. The race was tearing down as people were still out walking. I know that's not the point of the race or the gathering, but it is part of the experience and in turn purpose.
In the end we all did it. We literally got our Rears in Gear on a Sunday morning. While there was a great sense of lack of organization and a slightly odd location with a narrow path we did it. And together. Blood or not, we did it and I'm glad we did it all as one. I may not have been able to be around in 2008 and we're all older now. The circumstances surrounding our gathering are different than they would have been in 2008. That doesn't mean we don't have that special, unbreakable, and undefinable by definition bond that some people are fortunate to have.
As the fates would have it, my mom's best friend and one of my dad's best friends married. They are in fact my godparents. In addition another one of my dad's best friend, his wife, daughter and eventual son were close to us as a family. We'd gather at one of the houses, we'd eat, and us kids would play together. We even occasionally cleaned up nicely for photos. And thankfully this time I refer to was during the 1980's, so decades later the photos not only hold memories but hilarity.
Now you might be wondering who these fine looking folks of extended family in the 1980's are. Well in the back row you have my Godfather, Uncle Paul. Next to him is my Godmother, Aunt Melanie. Next to her is Bonnie, Diana, and Dave Holloway (David wasn't born yet). And in the front you have us Thornton's, that's my dad holding my sister, my mom, and then finally me. You might want to note a few things. First of all my dad still had a lot of hair. And speaking of a lot of hair, my mom, wow. You'll also note my sister didn't have a lot of interest in looking for the photo, but she too had a lot of hair. And then there's me, if you've seen any of my previous photos of me recently, you'll notice I still smile like that. I mastered that look in my early days ... clearly.
I went away to college, six hours away and then stayed in that area after graduation, eventually moving to North Carolina, and returning to the area in 2009. I was out of the area except for visits for holidays or long weekends for ten years more or less. In that time Diana, my sister, and I grew up and our parents all changed hair styles. It was also in that time that Diana's mom, Bonnie was diagnosed with Colon Cancer.
I remember the day and what I was I doing when I got the phone call. I was on my way home from Raleigh to Durham, North Carolina having run to the bank on my lunch break. I was in the turn lane to turn onto I85. My mom called to let me know that Bonnie had passed away and lost her battle to Colon Cancer. I wasn't able to make it from North Carolina to Illinois to support my extended family.
After my first half marathon in May, my mom took me out for a celebration lunch. I wore my race bib and medal all day, so it goes without saying that a few times during that day people talked to me about running. The first really was a bartender where we were having lunch and she told me about a race her boyfriend once took part in, the Get Your Rear In Gear 5k. I had just run 13.1 miles, so running 3.1 was a piece of cake in my mind at that time, and also on my mind was cake. I digress. I was on a post-race high so I looked up the Get Your Rear In Gear 5k and it was in July. I sent Diana a message letting her know that I'd be willing to do the race with her and I suspected we could get more of our extended family involved.
And so we did the race. Myself and one other person were registered runners and everyone else walkers. I'll admit I've taken part in large nationally sponsored races in the past year, as well as small local charity ones. I didn't find the Get Your Rear In Gear 5k to be the most organized event. The runners started at 8am (or there abouts), ran, and then the walkers started at 9am (or there abouts). There were a few problems with this. Runners who then wanted to walk with their family or friends missed the runners award ceremony and in turn any family or friends that cheered on runners missed the awards ceremony because they were out walking. As well, we runners were timed, and the walkers walked to a set up table that said "Finish". There was no fanfare, no following, nothing for the walkers. I stood by the finish line (table) for the rest of my team cheering them on, but it just wasn't the same as me finishing my run.
While I want to focus on people gathering to help with Colon Cancer research and not focus on the flaws of the race, it's hard. It's hard for me because the rest of my team did the same distance as me, had the same goals, and same purposes. And the rest of my team (had they finished any later) wouldn't have gotten post-race water or snacks. The race was tearing down as people were still out walking. I know that's not the point of the race or the gathering, but it is part of the experience and in turn purpose.
In the end we all did it. We literally got our Rears in Gear on a Sunday morning. While there was a great sense of lack of organization and a slightly odd location with a narrow path we did it. And together. Blood or not, we did it and I'm glad we did it all as one. I may not have been able to be around in 2008 and we're all older now. The circumstances surrounding our gathering are different than they would have been in 2008. That doesn't mean we don't have that special, unbreakable, and undefinable by definition bond that some people are fortunate to have.
Team Bon Bon, Get Your Rear In Gear 5k, 2015
I absolutely love this and I love you. I also agree it was very disorganized but glad we did it for a great cause. I miss my mom ever day and we have our childhood friend who is 30 battling stage 4 colon cancer as well. Thank you so much for this.
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