Tuesday, January 27, 2015

I Let Anger Control Me

In the second and final interview for my current work position the question of "What is your biggest fault or flaw?" was posed. Without hesitation, and without my filter working, I replied "I'm a non-sympathetic person." It's true, I am not sympathetic. The emotion of anger has long replaced the emotion of sympathy in my life. It sounds harsh, and it is, but when I say I'm non-sympathetic, it takes a lot for me to even consider sympathy.

I had a great day planned, my afternoon class was cancelled and I took the day off from my part-time job at the campus library to shoot rolls of film. It was a quintessential fall day in Carbondale, Illinois. I had gotten up, run 2.2 miles, came back to my dorm and prepared for my day. I put on typical college student wardrobe with jeans, gym shoes, a long sleeved thermal shirt, a T-shirt over, and threw on a zip up hoodie. I had my Lucky Charms for breakfast in the dining hall and headed out to my 9am class.

I never made it to class.


I was in the crosswalk, crossing Lincoln Drive and the sun was in his eyes. I was hit by a car that was speeding. I don't remember the accident, I only know what witnesses said and what was in the Police Report. I was struck on the left side, I flew up onto the hood, into the windshield, back onto the hood, through the windshield head first, back out of the windshield. I flew 30 feet, hit the ground, rolled. I remember waking up in the street surrounded by people and being asked my name. I could only answer my ID was in my bag which someone had turned into a pillow to support my head.

I heard the sirens, I knew they were for me. I was strategically placed in a neck brace and on a backboard, gently placed in the ambulance. The ride seemed to take forever. I felt sick. I told the EMT with me that I was going to be sick, he had to roll the backboard so I could throw up. That was the last time I ever ate Lucky Charms.

The rest of the day is much of a blur from dorm friends visiting me in the hospital, to talking to relatives on the phone, to waiting the six very long hours for my family to get to me. A nurse pulled glass out of my face with tweezers, I was wheeled for dozens of tests. I refused to eat. I spent time in ICU. I was mangled, bruised, broken, and the unknown lied within my suffering a Traumatic Brain Injury.

Much of the next days/weeks/months/year of my life is a blur. I suffered from short term memory loss and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Once I started to retain facts and figures, or basically function, I grew angry. Anger ruled my life. I was bitter. I am bitter. There's no was, I AM bitter still. I AM angry still. The driver who hit me didn't have insurance at the time, he received a ticket for $75 for failure to yield to a pedestrian and in court it was proved that it was his third offense of no insurance so he had to pay the maximum fine of $900. I've had ten surgeries and know there are still more in my future. I live with blurry memories and debilitating head pain, and none of that will ever change.

When I say I'm still bitter and angry I am, I may always be. For far too long I let the anger control me, I allowed myself to use it as a crutch, and as an excuse. I never thought to embrace that I lived, that after my 10 surgeries I am held together by screws, and that I could be better than the version of me before my accident … the version of me I don't remember. 

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